


Goodnight, Stranger

by maeung



Series: The Morning Commute [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Lawyers, Angst, Domestic Fluff, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun is Whipped, M/M, child jeno jaemin and renjun, doyoung is getting those tats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 17:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17585348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maeung/pseuds/maeung
Summary: In which Doyoung and Jaehyun finally meet again.[third installment of the "Morning Commute" series]





	Goodnight, Stranger

Jaehyun stares at the paper in his hands. “All you have to do is sign there, and the apartment is yours.” Jaehyun looks around. The apartment he’s in is big, much bigger than his old one. It has large windows that allow light to filter into a bright living room.

It’s big, it’s nice, but it’s not perfect. Jaehyun picks up the pen. “Okay,” he says.

“Congratulations!” The real estate agent, some guy named Kun, smiles. “You are now the proud owner of this beautiful luxury apartment. We’ll try and get you moved in right away.”

Jaehyun grins wryly. He should be happy, but he’s not. Jaehyun looks outside the window into the road. There’s no bus stop.

  


“Morning, stranger.” Doyoung sits down next to the stranger, and frowns when he notices how the handsome man is nervously wringing his hands.

“What’s up?” he asks. The stranger avoids Doyoung’s eyes.

“Well my lease is coming up.”

Doyoung nods, being an adult is too stressful sometimes. “Oh those are always a pain to deal with.”

“I’m going to a bigger apartment though.”

“Oh that’s good!”

“But I’m moving,” the stranger says quietly, “I’m moving to the other side of town. Tomorrow.”

 _Oh_. Oh. “The other side of town?” Doyoung asks hesitantly.

“Yeah.” The stranger says, “I guess this is probably the last you’ll see of me,” he smiles sadly. “I’ll miss our morning conversations, even though you’ll probably be happy to finally be at peace,” the stranger laughs coldly.

Doyoung just nods numbly.

That day, the stranger walks down the aisle slowly, and refuses to look Doyoung in the eyes.

Doyoung watches his form from the window.

“Wait!” Doyoung shouts, pulling the red wire above his window. The bus, having barely moved three feet, stops. Doyoung quickly gathers his papers and runs off the bus in a flurry of panic. The stranger turns around, his eyes wide. Doyoung pants, coming to a stop in front of him, before looking up. “Wow,” he thinks.

The stranger is beautiful, the morning light hitting the back of his head and creating a halo of pale yellow sunlight around him. He’s only made more ethereal by the wide grin slowly spreading over the stranger’s face. God, Jung Jaehyun is beautiful. “Are you okay?” He asks, unable to contain the happiness in his voice.

Doyoung straightens up, and holds out his hand. “My name is Kim Doyoung.”

Jaehyun smiles again, looking like the sun. He laughs loudly, full of glee and pure joy. “I know,” he says, grabbing Doyoung’s flower covered hand and shaking it, “my name is Jung Jaehyun.”

Doyoung’s smile matches Jaehyun’s. “I know.”

  


They both call in sick, giggling at the way they fake coughs into their phones. Jaehyun stares at Doyoung as he sits in the small diner booth across from him. Doyoung is smiling charmingly at the waitress, trying to convince her to let him have a piece of pie even though it's 8 AM and they don’t serve dessert until lunch. He can’t believe what’s happening right now, but he’ll freak out in a second. For now, Jaehyun takes his time and just stares.

The waitress leaves, promising to bring back a slice of key lime. Doyoung grins. “I missed you.”

Doyoung looks up at Jaehyun’s words, his eyes widening before they become soft, “I did too.”

“What have you been up to?”

“I’m a partner at my firm now,” Doyoung says, sipping on a cup of bitter coffee, “Lee and Kim.”

“Small world. I am too,” Jaehyun says, pouring an obscene amount of cream and sugar into his coffee, “Nakamoto and Jung.”

Doyoung nods, his eyes flitting around. Jaehyun squirms uncomfortably at the silence and opens his mouth, but the waitress comes back and sets their meals down. A blueberry danish for Jaehyun, a slice of key lime pie for Doyoung. They eat in silence for a few minutes, before the sound of Doyoung’s fork scraping against the ceramic forces Jaehyun into action.

“I knew who you were,” he says, eyes carefully looking over Doyoung’s face. He’s expressionless, “since we ran into each other outside of Johnny’s apartment.”

Doyoung’s fork freezes in mid-air. “How?” He asks, setting down the fork with a metallic clank.

“You’re more than a tattoo,” Jaehyun says.

Doyoung’s fingers rub over the pretty floral design, “it didn’t feel like that sometimes.”

“I know,” Jaehyun says quietly. Silence envelops them again.

“I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself sooner.” Doyoung says, and picks at his pie.

“It’s fine,” Jaehyun smiles, and ignores the way his heart hurts, “you needed time.”

“No I was just stupid,” he sighs.

“We both are.” Jaehyun says, and Doyoung looks up to meet Jaehyun’s gaze. They smile.

“Do you still have my number?” Doyoung asks.

“Yeah, do you have mine?”

“Of course.”

They decide to be friends.

That night, when Jaehyun is staring at Doyoung’s contact photo, he struggles with what to say.

**Hello, stranger.**

**[DOYOUNG] You don’t have to call me that anymore.**

  


“Where are you going?” Doyoung turns to face the voice. Taeyong is sitting down on their couch, looking at Doyoung curiously.

“I’m meeting with Jaehyun.”

A different look clouds over Taeyong’s face, “ah.”

Doyoung pauses, “good ‘ah’ or bad ‘ah?’”

Taeyong shrugs, “a bit of both. You’ve been spending a lot of time together lately.”

Doyoung pulls on his coat, “we’ve had a lot to catch up on.”

“I know,” Taeyong says hesitantly, “I just feel like you need to be careful.”

Doyoung rolls his eyes, “I always am.”

“Whatever,” Taeyong waves him away casually, “go have fun then.”

Doyoung laughs and steps out the door before sticking his head back in when Taeyong calls his name. “Yeah?”

“Don’t—don’t hurt yourself again.”

Doyoung bites his lip, “I won’t.”

They meet at Jaehyun’s apartment that night. It’s big, bigger than Doyoung expected. “Sorry about the mess,” Jaehyun mutters, sweeping a few old newspapers off of his island countertop.

“It’s fine,” Doyoung says.

“I lived in our old apartment up until a month ago, so I’m still getting used to this,” Jaehyun grabs two wine glasses and pours dark liquid into each of them. Doyoung sips his, it’s sweet, like everything else Jaehyun enjoys. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Sure,” Doyoung says, and moves his glass over to the couch. He picks up a coaster and hands one to Jaehyun, knowing that Jaehyun would never use one if he didn’t.

The movie is a cheesy comedy, and Doyoung smiles whenever Jaehyun laughs. He feels content, for the first time in a long time. “Jae?”

“Yeah?” Jaehyun asks, turning to Doyoung, mirth in his eyes.

“You said something a lot time ago,” Doyoung says quietly, and examines the way the flowers shift on his hand when he digs his fingers into the soft fabric of the couch. Jaehyun notices and silently picks up Doyoung’s hand, wrapping it in his own.

“What was it?” Their fingers intertwine.

“You said, ‘everytime I look at you-”

“I realize how breathtaking you are,” Jaehyun finishes.

“Is that still true?”

“It always was,” Jaehyun whispers, “and it always will be.”

Doyoung doesn’t notice when their faces lean into each other. “Jae?”

“Yeah?” Jaehyun breathes out, his eyes hungrily roaming over Doyoung’s features.

“Do you want to try again?”

Jaehyun answers him with a kiss.

  


Jaehyun isn’t sure what to do with himself. He walks through life like he’s on a cloud, and even his firm partner notices. “What the fuck has been up with you?” Yuta asks.

“Nothing,” Jaehyun says, but the effect is ruined when Jaehyun’s phone lights up. They make eye contact before both of them dive for the phone, Jaehyun trying and failing to wrestle it out of Yuta’s hands.

“Ha!” Yuta declares, ignoring the way Jaehyun pants.

“You’re so immature,” Jaehyun pouts.

“From Doie: Jae, you forgot your tie at my house again. Come over and I’ll give it back.—Winky face emoji!” Yuta crows, laughing out loud, “oh yeah you’ll be ‘coming over’ alright.”

Jaehyun snatches his phone out of Yuta’s hands, “shut up,” he mumbles.

“Who is ‘Doie’ anyways?”

“This guy,” Jaehyun says.

“How long have you guys been a thing?”

Years. “A month?” There was a break in between.

“Good on you,” Yuta smirks, “now why don’t you take the rest of the day off?”

“Why?” Jaehyun asks suspiciously.

“So you can get that tie of course,” Yuta’s smile is animalistic, “among other things.”

Jaehyun resists the urge to throw his briefcase at his partner, but he still grabs his phone and heads out the door.

“Doyoung? You here?” Jaehyun asks, opening the door of Doyoung’s apartment.

“In here!” Doyoung calls, and Jaehyun walks down the hallway over to a cracked open door. Jaehyun opens it, and his mouth falls open. “Hello, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun’s already tugging his blazer off, “so that’s where my tie went,” he says lowly.

  


Three months into their new relationship, Doyoung brings it up. “When was the last time you spoke to Johnny?”

The sheets rustle as Jaehyun flips over onto his side, looking at Doyoung, “why?”

Doyoung occupies his fingers by threading them through the blankets, “he invited us over for dinner.”

Jaehyun sighs, taking Doyoung’s hand and intertwining their fingers. He brushes over the floral design absentmindedly, “it’s been a while.” Doyoung shivers under Jaehyun’s touch

“I think it’d be good to reconnect with them,” he says, looking hopefully up at Jaehyun. In the dark, he can see Jaehyun’s brows furrow.

“I don’t know-”

“He was your best friend,” Doyoung brushes Jaehyun’s hair out of his eyes, “he’s still one of my closest friends.

“We had a falling out,” Jaehyun says, “and after the-” Doyoung’s hand pauses, “the thing, we drifted apart over an issue.”

Doyoung frowns. “Johnny chose me,” he thinks. He doesn’t realize that he says it outloud.

“He didn’t chose you,” Jaehyun says, “I pushed him away. I pushed everyone away.”

“Stop blaming yourself for everything.”

Doyoung watches as Jaehyun flips over onto his back, “I can’t help it. It feels like it’s always my fault.”

Doyoung lays there in silence before slipping his hand out of Jaehyun’s grasp.

“You’re wrong.”

Jaehyun takes a deep breath. “Goodnight, Doyoung.”

  


The next morning is quiet. Jaehyun watches as Doyoung walks quietly around his apartment, gathering his things. “Morning, Doyoung,” he says softly.

“It’s not your fault.” Jaehyun looks up at Doyoung’s words. He hasn’t put his shoes on yet, but he’s wearing an old pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt that belongs to Jaehyun.

“What do you mean?” Jaehyun asks, turning back around, knowing full well what he means.

“Last night, you said you feel like it’s always your fault. It’s not,” Doyoung says, coming up behind Jaehyun to wrap his arms around his waist.

Jaehyun hums, feeling the way Doyoung’s elegant fingers spread over his chest. He can feel Doyoung shaking his head.

“Listen to me,” Doyoung pouts against Jaehyun’s neck, “I’m trying to be serious.” Jaehyun looks over his shoulder to see Doyoung looking like a kid who just dropped his ice cream, and he smiles, leaning forward to peck the pout off of his lips. Doyoung jerks back, “no, let me say what I want to say.”

“Okay, okay,” Jaehyun sighs.

Doyoung smiles happily, “now listen here Mr. Jung Jaehyun, you need to stop blaming yourself for everything.” He turns Jaehyun around to face him, “a long time ago, I made a mistake because I wasn’t ready. The only reason we broke up is because I couldn’t handle it. You did nothing wrong, I just had to grow as a person and realize that our problems all stemmed from my insecurities.” Jaehyun opens his mouth to speak but Doyoung shushes him, “none of it was your fault.”

Jaehyun wraps his arm around Doyoung’s waist, and they stand there in the morning sun, enjoying each other’s presence. “I’ll go to Johnny’s.”

“Really?” Doyoung looks up at Jaehyun with hope in his eyes. Jaehyun tries to memorize his expression.

“Yeah, I’ll do it.” Jaehyun smiles weakly, but Doyoung doesn’t seem to notice.

“Perfect!”

It’s not until Doyoung leaves that Jaehyun allows himself to think about Doyoung’s words. “None of it was your fault,” he had said.

Then why did he still blame himself?

  


“Johnny!” Doyoung grins, wrapping his arms around the tall man. He turns to a shorter one standing behind him and hugs Taeil as well.

“Hey Doyoung,” Johnny chuckles, but then his eyes glance over to the figure trailing behind him. “Jaehyun, come in.”

Jaehyun nods awkwardly and follows, quickly wrapping his arm around Doyoung’s waist. “Hey Johnny.”

“How’ve you been?” Johnny asks.

“Good, I’m partnered in a firm now, Nakamoto and Jung.”

“Nakamoto Yuta?” Taeil asks.

“Yeah, that’s the one. You know him?”

Taeil shrugs, “a long time ago we both were trying to get the same guy.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Johnny asks, amused. Doyoung grins, watching Jaehyun and Johnny slowly grow more comfortable around each other.

Jaehyun hugs Johnny when they leave. “How was it?”

“It was good,” Jaehyun says, as they walk down the dimly lit streets. “I missed him.”

“Good,” Doyoung smiles and pulls Jaehyun closer, to stand under a streetlight. He looks up, “years ago, we stood under a streetlight like this.”

“Yeah?” Jaehyun says softly and slides his hand up Doyoung’s back.

“And I said something to you.”

“I think I can remember,” the orange light shines down on Jaehyun’s face, illuminating his soft expression as he stares at Doyoung.

“Do you?”

“I do. In fact, I think I’ll say it first,” Jaehyun says, “god damn it, Kim Doyoung, I am in love with you.”

Doyoung wraps his arms around Jaehyun’s neck. Right before he leans in, he whispers against Jaehyun’s lips, “I love you too.”

In a moment much like the past, under the soft orange light of an old streetlight, Jaehyun and Doyoung kiss, alone, in a city filled with people.

  


Jaehyun wasn’t sure when Doyoung moved in, he just started to permeate every part of Jaehyun’s space in perfect cohabitation. When Jaehyun asks Doyoung to move in, almost a year into their relationship, all Doyoung has to move are a few shirts and his favorite blanket.

Now, it’s their anniversary night, and Jaehyun is frantically running around trying to get all the details right. “Johnny, are you sure you’ll be here in time?”

“Chill,” Johnny’s voice rings through the phone, “I’m in the elevator now.” Jaehyun doesn’t stop glancing at the door until Johnny walks through it, carrying handfuls of flowers. “Here you go man.”

“Thank you, oh my god-” Jaehyun is interrupted by the sound of the oven going off. “Shit, my potatoes are done—can you put the flowers on the table?”

Johnny nods and sets down the giant bouquets, “fuck Jae, how much are you doing?”

“Light those candles!” Jaehyun calls from the kitchen. Johnny grabs a lighter and gets to work. “It’s really not a lot,” Jaehyun says, setting down the hot casserole dish of roasted vegetables. “Dinner, candles, flowers, watching a movie, I put melted chocolate in our room-”

“Woah I don’t need to know about that part,” Johnny laughs. “Alright, I’m done. You need help with anything else?”

“Nah, I’m good. You can get out of here.”

Jaehyun’s putting the finishing touches on their dinner when the door opens, revealing Doyoung. It’s winter, so he’s bundled up in a heavy coat, scarf, and gloves. “Jae? I’m home!” His muffled voice calls as Doyoung stamps the snow off of his boots.

Jaehyun pulls off his apron, revealing a white button-down and pair of dress pants. “Happy Anniversary, Doyoung,” Jaehyun says, walking out of the kitchen to see Doyoung staring in shock at the bouquets of flowers lining their dining room.

“Did you do all this?” Doyoung asks quietly. Jaehyun nods, watching the way Doyoung’s eyes light up as he looks over the candles and dinner.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun says. Doyoung’s hair is messed up from the wind and his sweater (one of Jaehyun’s) swallows his entire form, hanging over his palms. He’s never looked more beautiful.

“It’s amazing,” Doyoung walks over to Jaehyun, cupping his face with his fabric covered hands that scratch Jaehyun’s face, before leaning in and capturing his lips. They kiss for ages, lips moving against each other before Jaehyun pulls away.

“There’s still a whole dinner for us to eat.”

“Wait,” Doyoung says, “I got you an anniversary gift too. Taeyong went with me to get it.” He lifts his hands from Jaehyun’s cheeks and tugs his sweater down over his wrist. Jaehyun watches as the floral design is revealed on Doyoung’s hand before he glances over to the other one, his eyes widening.

“You did this for me?” Doyoung nods, allowing Jaehyun to pick up his hand. His fingers trace over the tender skin, following the lines of Doyoung’s newest tattoo. It’s as familiar as it is new, and Jaehyun feels his eyesight getting blurry, making the elegant grey sparrow almost indistinguishable.

“A long time ago, I made the worst mistake of my life. But somehow, it still worked out,” Doyoung says as Jaehyun clutches Doyoung’s sparrow tattoo to his chest, “covering up that tattoo was one of my biggest regrets. Losing you is something I can never go through again. So I’m going to try to fix all of the mistakes I made.”

Jaehyun is a man of action. He understands that things can completely disappear in a blink of an eye, and that is why—on the night of their anniversary, while a warm candlelit dinner is on the table and a movie is already queued up on the TV—Jaehyun picks Doyoung up, allowing his legs to lock around his waist, and walks down the hall to the bedroom.

Later that night, he lies in bed, Doyoung sleeping soundly on his chest. Jaehyun traces the bruises on Doyoung’s pale skin with his fingers, and stares down at Doyoung’s face. He goes through his mental checklist: huge doe eyes that are angled, low forehead, high cheekbones, straight nose, soft jawline, slightly rounded chin, pronounced cupid’s bow, rabbit teeth. Then he closes his eyes. He still can’t see anything, but it’s alright.

Because when he opens them again, he sees Doyoung in real life. And that’s worth more than a memory ever will.

  


Doyoung and Jaehyun are lying in bed, one of Doyoung’s favorite pastimes. The morning sun filters through the blinds of their windows, and Doyoung squints at the intrusion, burying his face into Jaehyun’s chest. He laughs, and Doyoung feels the chuckle spread through him. “Morning, Doyoung,” Jaehyun says, his morning voice deep as he threads his fingers through Doyoung’s hair.

Doyoung props his head up on Jaehyun’s chest looking up at him. From this angle, Jaehyun struggles to look down at Doyoung and he giggles when faced with the sight of Jaehyun’s double-chin.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Doyoung smiles, “you just look funny from this angle.” Jaehyun rolls his eyes.

“You look funny from all angles,” he mutters and Doyoung laughs.

“You weren’t saying that earlier when I was-”

“Okay, okay, you got me.” Jaehyun slides his hands up Doyoung’s back and Doyoung shifts up to straddle him so Jaehyun’s hands fall neatly at his waist. From this angle, Jaehyun’s double chin is gone and all Doyoung is left with is the sight of his hands on Jaehyun’s chest, the swirling ink juxtaposed against bare skin. Typically, Jaehyun is the one who is always looking, absorbing Doyoung’s every feature, but today, Doyoung takes the chance to admire the way Jaehyun’s jawline is strong where Doyoung’s is soft, the way Jaehyun’s eyes are wide where Doyoung’s are angled.

“It’s almost our year and a half anniversary.”

“Congratulations to us, baby.” Jaehyun hums, his hands kneading into Doyoung’s sides.

This moment, is something that Doyoung etches into his brain. The morning light casts slivers of sunshine across Jaehyun’s face and when he looks into Jaehyun’s eyes, he feels utterly, and completely, loved. Now is perfect.

“Wait, let me grab something.” Doyoung mutters, and struggles to awkwardly pull open their bedside table while Jaehyun keeps his hands firmly on Doyoung’s waist, preventing him from slipping. Doyoung stretches back to his original position, holding a tiny white box that is much heavier than it should be. “Jung Jaehyun, I really wanted this to be special.”

Jaehyun stares down at the box in shock.

“I swear, I had this planned out with balloons and all of our friends and shit. But now is better than anything I can think of,” he opens the box, revealing a white gold band with a simple diamond shining in the center, “will you be mine, forever?”

Jaehyun is silent, still staring down at the ring. Doyoung begins to panic.

“Like in marriage, obviously. Oh my god, Jaehyun let’s get married.” Jaehyun looks up at Doyoung, an expression of disbelief on his face.

“Holy shit,” Jaehyun says, and then laughs out loud, “yes! Yes of course!” Doyoung smiles gleefully but before he can dip down to kiss Jaehyun, Jaehyun slides out from beneath him. “But first let me show you something.” Doyoung frowns at the loss of Jaehyun in their bed. He’s digging through their dresser, shoving aside a pile of t-shirts before he turns triumphantly to Doyoung, holding a small black box.

Doyoung covers his mouth, a wide smile on his face as he stares up at Jaehyun. He’s still in bed, blankets tangled around his legs when Jaehyun goes down on one knee and opens the box, revealing a silver ring with a set of three diamonds inlaid in it. “I’m guessing I already know your answer, but Kim Doyoung, will you make me the happiest man in the world and fucking marry me?”

  


Jaehyun spends a majority of the time he should be planning a wedding watching TLC shows. He allows Doyoung to drag him to florists, bakeries, possible venues, and caterers after work, and he begrudgingly sits down at the table whenever Doyoung pulls out the worn binder labeled “Wedding Plan.”

But it’s all worth it, when he sees Doyoung walk down the aisle. Yuta had joked that Jaehyun would need a tissue, but Jaehyun ignored his groomsman in favor of letting his best man, Johnny—who had already been through this process—hype him up. Doyoung is wearing a white suit, like Jaehyun’s, along with the biggest smile Jaehyun had ever seen on his face. Jaehyun’s mouth drops open, watching the way his elegant soon-to-be-husband walks toward him. When Doyoung is finally face-to-face with Jaehyun, he whispers, “I’m getting married to the most beautiful man in the world.”

Doyoung looks at Jaehyun, tears shining in his eyes and says, “so am I.”

Taeil, sweet gentle Taeil, is the one they chose to be their officiant for their wedding. He looks at them after speaking his introduction—which they both miss, too engrossed in each other—and gestures for them to say their vows.

Doyoung takes a deep breath. “Jae, I fell in love with you in college. Then, I fell in love with you again as strangers sitting next to each other on the bus. I’m so happy that you decided to let me back into your life, and I promise you the sun, the moon, anything you want as long as you’ll stay by my side. You are the most perfect, amazing, kindest, intelligent person I know, and I hope you never forget that. Once upon a time, the only words we spoke was when you said ‘Morning, stranger,’ everyday to me on the bus, but now I can’t wait to look at you and say ‘Morning, husband’ instead. Jaehyun, I want you to be the sparrow to my flowers, I give you my heart, my soul, and my love forever.” Doyoung’s hands shook as he slid the ring on Jaehyun’s finger, “I, Doyoung, give you, Jaehyun, this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you.”

Jaehyun’s heart feels like it’s about to burst as he fumbles with a slip of paper in his jacket pocket, unfolding it, along with a simple polaroid. “Doyoung, a long time ago when we started dating for the first time, I wrote myself a note. In it, I said ‘Kim Doyoung is the most beautiful man in the world, don’t forget him.’ Doyoung, I only truly remember a few people in my life, but you are undoubtedly the one person that I will never forget. Everyday I take this note and picture with me wherever I go, just incase I ever need a reminder that waiting for me is a man who is the single most important person in the world. Your wit makes me laugh, your beauty makes me smile, your intelligence makes me amazed, and your genuine concern for the world and others makes me endlessly inspired. I once said that ‘Everytime I see you, I fall in love with you over and over again’ and that will never change. Doyoung, I give you every part of me, and even though I might still never deserve you, I hope and pray that my love will be enough.” Jaehyun slides the ring onto Doyoung’s finger before reaching up to brush away one of Doyoung’s tears. “I, Jaehyun, give you, Doyoung, this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you.”

Taeil sniffles, “by the power vested in me by this online program to get ordained, I now declare you husband and husband. You may now kiss the groom.”

Doyoung and Jaehyun smile at each other before leaning in, the crowd fading into the background.

“I present to you, the newly married couple, Doyoung and Jaehyun!”

  


“Nervous?” Jaehyun asks, rubbing his thumb over Doyoung's shiny wedding band.

“A little,” Doyoung admits. He’s glancing around the sterile room at all the medical posters.

“Relax, it’s just an ultrasound,” Jaehyun says, “we’re not even the one’s getting it.”

Doyoung smiles weakly at the woman sitting next to them, her stomach round. “Thank you, again.’

“No problem,” the woman says, “I’m glad I can help.”

“Seriously, Wendy, you’ve been a godsend.”

When the doctor shows them the first image of their baby from Wendy’s ultrasound, Doyoung cries. He doesn’t know how to thank the surrogate mother, so he just cries. Jaehyun wraps his arms around Doyoung’s shoulders and they look at the tiny shape of white pixels.

“Congratulations,” the doctor says, “it’s a boy.”

“That’s our baby Doyoung.”

“I know,” Doyoung sobs, “he’s beautiful.”

  


Five months later, Jaehyun and Doyoung take Jung Jeno home. Jaehyun looks down at the tiny baby, feeling more pride and love in his heart then he ever thought possible while Doyoung fusses around their new nursery, making sure everything is perfect. “He has your eyes,” Jaehyun comments.

“Oh shut up,” Doyoung says, “you and me both know that there’s no way we’ll be able to tell who’s son he is when he’s this young.”

“I bet he’ll be your son.”

“We both donated an equal amount of DNA, I bet he’ll be your son.”

“I hope he’s yours,” Jaehyun says offhandedly, “he’ll grow up to be smart.”

“If he’s yours, he’ll grow up to be kind.”

“There’s only one thing we know for certain.”

“What’s that?” Doyoung asks.

“He’ll be a lawyer.”

  


Jeno is three, and has more energy than a wild animal. Doyoung pants as he chases Jeno around the house, brandishing a towel. “Jeno, you have to take a bath!”

“No!” Jeno yells, and waddles away even faster. Jaehyun steps through the door, and his arms swoop down to capture the toddler.

“Not so fast,” Jaehyun smiles, “you have to listen to your dad.”

Jeno pouts, “but papa-”

“Nope,” Jaehyun says, “bath time.” Jeno groans, but lets Doyoung swaddle him in the towel. “Hello, Doie,” Jaehyun says and pecks Doyoung on the lips while Jeno squirms in his arms.

That night, they watch a sleeping Jeno, illuminated  by the soft blue light of his nightlight. “He looks a lot like you,” Doyoung says, looking at Jeno’s soft face.

“You think so?”

“Yeah.”

  


Jaehyun runs frantically around the park. “Jeno!” He calls, his eyes scanning the jungle gym. They had gone out on one of Jaehyun’s rare days off for a little bit of bonding time, and Jaehyun had just looked in the other direction for a second before looking back and realizing Jeno was gone.

“Are you okay?” A woman comes up to him, looking at him worriedly.

“I can’t find my son,” Jaehyun says, his heart racing.

“Oh my god that’s horrible! What’s his name?”

“Jung Jeno, he’s five.”

“What does he look like?”

“He has black hair, he’s wearing a green shirt and blue shorts and—and-” Jaehyun blanks. He closes his eyes and almost cries out in frustration when he sees nothing.

“Don’t worry, I’ll try to help find him.” The woman says, and together they walk through the playground area, yelling “Jeno!”

Jaehyun finds Jeno hiding under a slide, and he sobs in relief. He thanks the woman and hugs Jeno as tight as he can to his chest, determined to never let go.

“Papa! Did you miss me?” Jeno giggles, clearly just seeing it as a fun game of hide-and-go-seek.

“Of course. I missed you more than you’ll ever know,” Jaehyun says, trying not to think about the fact that he couldn’t picture what his son looked like.

That night, Jaehyun sits down with the photo of Jeno that’s usually in his wallet and writes another note.

  


“We have to get him tested.” Jaehyun says, over the sound of broccoli sizzling in the pan. Jeno plays with a train set in the living room, emitting soft ‘choo choo!’ sounds.

Doyoung sighs, “we don’t need to.”

“The tests exist you know, for little kids.”

“There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Yes there is!” Jaehyun says, and slams the silverware he was setting down a little harder than normal. Doyoung flinches. “Jeno told me that he couldn’t remember who he was playing with today at daycare.”

“It’s fine,” Doyoung says, “I’m sure it’s nothing. Kids forget stuff. Besides, you already asked the daycare employees and they said it was Jaemin and Renjun.”

“Exactly! Jaemin and Renjun are Jeno’s best friends. How could he forget them when he sees them almost everyday.”

Doyoung pauses from where he’s stirring the vegetables, “Jae I don’t think it’s very serious-”

“You don’t think it’s serious?” Jaehyun glares, “you’re not the one living with it.”

Doyoung’s eyes narrow, “I never said that-”

“Yes you did,” he says, fire in his eyes, “prosopagnosia is genetic. Now I don’t know about you, but I can’t watch my kid go on playdates and then not even remember who his best friends are. Especially if I know that I gave it to him.” Jaehyun sets down the last plate angrily before he storms out of the room. Jeno looks up at the sound of the clatter.

“Daddy, where is Papa going?”

Doyoung sits down next to Jeno, forcing himself not to cry, “he’s going to eat dinner in his office today sweetie.”

  


Jeno sits on the edge of the chair, his legs swinging back and forth while he looks idly out of the window. “We’ve run the tests,” the doctor says.

“And?” Jaehyun presses.

“He’s positive.”

Doyoung rests a hand against Jaehyun’s, “is there anything we can do?”

Jaehyun stares at the wall in shock. His entire world feels like it’s been ripped apart as he looks at the innocent sight of his son. He did this. He was the one who passed on the genes.

Jaehyun looks at Doyoung’s face, one that is riddled with a look of concern as he nods along with the doctor. Doyoung doesn’t deserve to raise a child who won't be able to recognize him.

Doyoung doesn’t deserve to have to deal with Jaehyun.

It's all his fault—again.

  


“Jaehyun—I don’t understand,” Doyoung hisses, trying to keep his voice down so Jeno won’t wake up.

“I just,” Jaehyun pauses, “I just don’t think this is going to work.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“This!” Jaehyun says, gesturing to everything around him, “I can’t do it!”

“Can’t do what?”

“I can’t continue to cause you and Jeno pain!”

“Who said you were causing us pain?”

“No one! But I can see it! I see it in the way Jeno looks at Jaemin and calls him Renjun, I see it in your eyes when he calls someone else Papa, I see it in the way you look at me sometimes.” Jaehyun says quietly, “god, Doyoung I might not be able to remember your face, but I remember the pain it makes you feel.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, none of this is your fault!” Doyoung says.

“Oh shut up,” Jaehyun spats, “we’ve always known it was.”

“You’re delirious—you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Tell me why we broke up for the first time.”

“Because I wasn’t ready-”

“No, it was because of me. Because I can’t remember,” Jaehyun says furiously, letting the tears run down his face, “and I never will.”

“Jae-”

“You don’t deserve this shit. You’re perfect, and I’m just dragging you down. And look,” Jaehyun points toward their son’s room, “I even managed to mess up our child too.”

“Jae,” Doyoung states, “you deserve us. You deserve us more than the world. It’s not your fault, you literally can’t help the way you are!”

“I’ll never be good enough,” Jaehyun pulls on his coat.

“You’ll always be good enough for me.” Doyoung says helplessly, and latches himself onto Jaehyun’s arm.

“No I won’t.” Jaehyun pries Doyoung’s hands off of him, looking one last time at the mesmerizing floral design and fragile sparrow on his hands.

Doyoung crumples on the floor, tears streaming into his hands, “you’re a fucking coward,” he cries quietly.

Jaehyun pauses, his hand on the door. “I know.”

And then he’s gone. Jaehyun’s words fly through Doyoung’s head. “Tell me why we broke up for the first time.” Doyoung chokes down a sob.

“I did this,” he whispers, “I made him think he wasn’t good enough.”

  


The divorce papers slide heavily across the desk, settling between Doyoung and Jaehyun. Yuta looks awkwardly between the two of them while he points out different clauses in the settlement. “And finally, the custody agreement,” Yuta says, and coughs to clear the silence, “Jeno will be spending the weekdays with Doyoung and the weekends with Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun nods and reaches for the pen, the only noise in the room being the scratch of the pen against the paper. He hands the pen to Doyoung, who hesitates before scrawling his signature on the paper. The blue ink sears its way into Jaehyun’s memory, and for the first time, Jaehyun wishes he could forget everything, not just faces.

  


Doyoung and Jaehyun meet up, twice a week. Once so Doyoung can drop Jeno off at Jaehyun’s apartment, and once so he can pick him up again.

Everytime, Doyoung wishes he could find the courage to do something, anything, to even speak to Jaehyun. Jaehyun wishes the same. But they never will.

Because to each other, they’re Kim Doyoung and Jung Jaehyun, and they’re both lawyers. Kim Doyoung has a tattoo of flowers spread across one hand, the memory of their first failed relationship, and a sparrow on the other, the memory of their second. Jung Jaehyun has prosopagnosia, a disorder that doesn’t allow him to remember the look on Doyoung’s face when they ended it, both times. They’re the loves of each other’s lives, but they’re both too cowardly to act upon it.

Every time Jeno walks through the door of one apartment to another and the door closes, they spend a few seconds staring at the closed door before walking away.

“Goodnight, stranger.” They both think.

**Author's Note:**

> [cc: xuminghaooutsold](https://curiouscat.me/xuminghaooutsold)   
>  [twitter:markleewyd](https://twitter.com/markleewyd)


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